


The misadventure of the hippie and the fatty

by Loneremo90



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-05 20:03:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21214280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loneremo90/pseuds/Loneremo90
Summary: One shots of Stan and Cartman doing stuff as a weird, yet dysfunctional couple.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy!

"Are you ready to order?" Tweak asked frantically, holding the clipboard in his jittery hands.

"The usual black coffee and cinnamon rolls," Stan said while looking at his boyfriend in front of the cafe table. "and Eric will get the chocolate latte and chocolate cookies."

Tweek nodded and wrote on the clipboard with a red pen. "Okay, Craig will get your order. I'm taking a break after this! Ahh!" Tweak screeched as he left the table.

Eric shook his head as he browses the internet on his phone. He doesn't want Craig Tucker to make his latte. His latte always tastes lukewarm when he makes it.

Stan seemed to understand his boyfriend's disapproval head shake. He also hated Craig's lattes.

"Craig sucks at making coffee. I don't understand why Tweek thinks he can." That made Eric look up at Stan from the phone. He was right, Craig cannot brew a coffee properly.

Eric scoffed. "He's only employed because he and Tweek are fuck buddies."

Stan giggled at his boyfriend's insult. It sounded hypocritical since they're gay as well, but it was funny to Stan.

"Don't be an asshole, Eric. " Stan pressed his knee against Eric's under the table. The fat teen blushed at their warmth touch.

"It's true." 

Stan stifled a laugh, smiling dreamily. "You're so fucking mean, dude."

"Fuck buddies with an attention disorder."

Both boys laugh at the offensive joke until they look into each other eyes.

"Let's get out of here and make out in the car." Eric got up, offering his boyfriend a hand. 

"What about Craig?" Stan pointed at the backroom door. 

"Fuck him and his nasty ass latte." Stan laughed and grabbed his hand. They walked out of the coffee shop, hand in hand.


	2. Chapter 2

"You're eating all the candy. Save some for kids."

"Screw those bastards. This is a farm, not the town."

Stan attempts to take away the pumpkin pail from his boyfriend's grasp, but Cartman stops him with a hard smack.

"Ah, ah. Don't even try, hippie. " Cartman says, a hint of tease in his voice.

Stan let out a soft whimper as he rub the light mark on his hand. That hurt like hell. Cartman is going to pay.

Stan balls up his fist and punches Cartman on the arm. Revenge was sweet.

"That fucking hurts, you dumb hippie! Cartman yells at him, seething in anger. How dare that spineless hippie hit him like a punching bag.

"You smacked my hand!" Stan yells back, throwing one of the pillow cushions at Cartman.

Cartman grabs the cushion and tosses across the living room. He hates it when they argue over pointless stuff like this one. What is the point of hitting each other over Halloween candy?

"Why are we doing this? It's Halloween, and we're arguing over candy." Cartman says with a laugh. "Man, we're pathetic."

Stan laughs as well, blushing. "We argue like an old married couple." He jokes nervously.

Cartman grabs Stan's wrist and pulls him close on the couch. He puts his arm around Stan and embraces him tight.

"Sorry for smacking your hand." Cartman apologizes softly, lifting Stan's hand in his large one. He brings it up to his lips, kissing it tenderly.

Stan blushes slightly. He decides to apologize for his action earlier. "Sorry for punching you."

"No, I deserve it." Cartman rejects his apology, letting go of Stan's hand. "I shouldn't have hit you."

"Eric...do you want to eat the rest of the candy? Those kids might come here for candy later, but fuck them."

Eric forms a smirk on his face, loving his boyfriend's selfish behavior. He finds it quite attractive.

"Of course, babe. Let's watch a scary movie." Stan and Cartman watch Friday The 13th, eating candy from the pumpkin pail.


End file.
